10 Things That Happen When You Date a Latina

Aye Dios Mio.

That moment you're talking to a guy and you realize he's probably never dated a Latina.Click To Tweet

You always know because if they have, they’ll mention it in their own way. Men remember Latina women for either the good or bad…but they remember her.

So whether you date a Shakira Shakira or Sonia Sotomayor, chances are one… or some… of these stereotypes have been fulfilled in your relationship.

Things that happen when you date a Latina – Latina stereotypes revealed:

1. You’re never going to be hungry.

Seriously, she herself could be anorexic or Licuado de Nopal fit, but she’ll be damned if you’re ever hungry.

Latina women love to feed everyone. It's a way we show our affection.Click To Tweet

Eating is often an entire experience. Cooking is a gift from us to you, so don’t you dare turn down that meal from abuelita.

2. She is inevitably hyper-sexualized.

If you’re the jealous type and want to date a Latina woman, you better grow some confidence and develop trust in each other.

You can’t control how much she will be checked out, hit on, and praised with unsolicited attention.

Mostly because if you’re around Latin culture, Latin men actively show their affection. And if you’re outside of a Latino community, she will be fetishized for being exotic.

Latina women just want to be appreciated for anything other than how much you want to sleep with them. Studies at Columbia University show that Latinos are mostly casted for hyper-sexualized television roles because well… that’s how society sees us.

Don’t get me wrong, we fully perpetuate the stereotype for three reasons:

Firstly, the older generations of Latina women had little agency, so they truly had to hurry up and get married. Their beauty was the only thing going for them, so they embraced it. Certain cultural habits of loving your body are then tripled down throughout the generations.

Secondly, the younger Latinas who do have more agency and are equal human beings in society have been socially raised to be put together. I literally was wearing high heels before I could walk (Mary Janes, thank you). What’s our norm may not be yours, but we choose to express ourselves through fashion, dance, and mediums which may be seen by others as “sexy.”

My mother’s friend, a pastor, told me yesterday that a feminist condemned her for wearing high heels and dresses for “her man” (obviously, we aren’t talkin’ about a freakum-dress here, she’s modest and still fierce).

Yami answered with a “I don’t dress for men’s attention, I dress for myself.”

Third, we can’t help who we are. We’re sexy and we love it.


We just don’t want you to think that it’s the only thing we have to offer.

3. On that note, people will assume she’s not educated or skilled.

According to the National Center for Public Policy and Higher Education, Latinas have less educational and vocational opportunities than any other racial group in the USA.

This means that when people look at your sexy Latin lover and think she’s only good for “that,” it isn’t just because of  Modern Family and Desperate Housewives. There are real-life obstacles for Latina women to develop their careers and ambitions.

Cultural limitations include getting married too young, having children out of wedlock, and having parents that don’t want them to leave their hometown. There are so many other socio-economic obstacles that must be over-come by Latina women.

To be clear, in 2015, plenty of Latina-Americans are empowered with opportunities and success.

But take it from the girl who went to UCLA and would always be told “yeah, but you don’t count as Mexican” [because of my financial status and education], that people perceive Latinos to be professionally challenged.

Celebrating success might be particularly important to her if she has beat the odds. As her partner, she might need you to show her that you don’t take her hard work and talent for granted.

You can bet she’ll do the same for you.

4. She’s likely to be coqueta and incredibly passionate.

Whatever her hobbies are, whatever her career is, and her love for you will burn fiercely. Don’t take it personally, she loves everyone that hard. Well, she’s pretty picky with who she actually loves, but once you’re “in,” you’re “in.”

To be “coqueta” means that she is likely playful, kind, and likeable. There is the tiniest sense of cockiness implied with this behavior, but it is undoubtedly confidence, not thinking she is better than anyone else.

Latina women are notoriously social creatures. I say creatures because it’s almost an animalistic instinct to share the charm. You walk into a Latino family party and you’re sure to get a dozen hugs and kisses on the cheek. We love to love our friends.

Don’t mistake her friendliness for flirtiness.

Culturally, we are less likely to be casually promiscuous, so the chances of cheating are statistically lower. Okay, not an actual statistic. However, in Latina culture women are less likely to be intimate outside of a relationship.

5. She wants to show you off.

I’m an exception to this as I’ve become a bit more private with my already very public lifestyle. However, most Latina women want pictures with their bae, their best friend, their cousins, and their dog.

Correlated to how hard we love and to our confidence, Latina women like to show the world how wonderful you are. This is very different to say, Scandinavian or Australian culture, where it would seem too showy. In Latino culture, it’s just celebrating. We’re always looking for an excuse to have a party so we can feed you.

Latinas are your number one cheerleader and low key publicist.Click To Tweet

Thanks mom. That’s you.

6. She will fight and suffer with you.

Remember that loving hard part? They hurt hard tooStudies show that Latina women actually get physically ill when they are emotionally concerned for a love one. I can’t seem to find the cases for it, but I learned this in a course at UCLA and I never forgot it because I was wide-eyed with this epiphany. It’s true and I hadn’t thought about it until my professor said it.

It actually becomes common practice for Latina women to come together seeking group love and support. It’s also a tendency not to tell the older women in the family a problem to avoid scaring them into bad health.

7. She knows how to listen, but she knows when to speak up.

Chances are that arm candy actually has a lot to say.

Being honest, bold, and candid are characteristics of Latina women. Click To Tweet
At a glance, Latina women appear submissive. Culturally, many of us in heterosexual relationships haven’t let go of traditional practices. The opening of doors, letting women go first, and men walking on the outside of the sidewalkare all old-school practices in courtship. I like them.

Latina women need to feel needed, so they subconsciously let a man feel needed.

From an outsider’s perspective, this might look backwards, but there is one reason this isn’t so:

Latina women speak up. They want to communicate (in case you couldn’t tell with all my writing and expressing myself through fashion and dance HAHA). Anyways, this need empowers our relationships. We address the things that really matter. Those who talk together, work together, and make decisions together have a partnership … which is the real peak in #relationshipgoals.

 

8. She has to learn balance and discipline.

Passionate people tend to be full-force. Latinos are very passionate… particularly the women. This can lead to a culture of paradox extremes– a Latina women is either ridiculously fit, or struggling with obesity. She’s either top of her class in her career, or a stay at home mom focusing only on her family. She’s either only shows up to the Catholic parties or refuses to drink or dance in the name of Christ.

When you're that passionate about everything, it'll make you or break you.Click To Tweet

Travel has allowed me to understand my culture and my own identity.

By experiencing the world and removing myself from my norms, I am able to distinguish what I do and don’t like about my culture and why I act or feel a certain way about ideas, actions, and life.

Travel isn’t the only way to achieve this.

However, with any race, if you can wrap an understanding around how we are all different and can choose to reshape ourselves despite our norms, you’re going to be more mature and rounded than someone who doesn’t have this privilege.

We can choose which parts of our culture to embrace and which to reject.

 

Good thing that Latinas are great learners 🙂 And great cooks, let’s keep that part up for sure!

9. She’s used to being taken care of, and she’s used to taking care of people.

It all runs back to the passion and hard-loving. We enjoy catering to our family, friends, and partner.

But we also love to be taken care of. If you take care of your Latina woman, she’s going to make sure that no one can take care of you like she does. She will love you immensely, passionately, and actively.

10. People will get a kick out of guessing her ethnicity.

I’m not kidding. I’ve had entire rooms of people guessing my racial roots as a game multiple times.

There might just be some novelty in culture.

TravelBreak.net - Things that happen when you date a latina

Original Photo of me @StephBeTravel by @Witness_X on Instagram


 

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25 Comments

  1. Gregor March 29, 2018 at 8:32 am - Reply

    This is a gross article that reduces Latina women and people to stereotypes. Latinas must be taught “balance and discipline?” Keep your weird fetishes and sexual colonialism to yourself please. I feel sorry for any Latina who would date you- you clearly don’t even see them as full human beings.

    • Stephanie Be March 30, 2018 at 8:09 am - Reply

      Hi Aamir,

      I am always open to criticism on an article, however, if you’re going to hold such a strong opinion — you should read the full article. I’m a Latina woman, not a person dating Latina women. You’re saying that I don’t see myself as a human being and that you feel sorry for any Latina that would date me proves that you didn’t read the entire article, my personal story or my blog post addressing identity — how stereotypes are and are not fulfilled. I agree that the line “Latina must be taught balance and discipline” to that we as people all need to learn balance and discipline. Not to mention I start the article by mentioning that this does not apply to all Latina women. Please be more thorough before jumping to conclusions or making accusations when read through content.

      • Estrella July 23, 2018 at 12:51 am - Reply

        Omg. You told him. Honestly before I read your reply I thought to myself, they weren’t really stereotypes so much as the truth.

        • Stephanie Be August 4, 2018 at 11:34 am - Reply

          Hahahaha I wouldn’t say that all stereotypes are true, but there is some truth in some of them.

    • Bill Bax May 17, 2018 at 1:27 pm - Reply

      She is a Latina. wow…

  2. Blake April 1, 2018 at 8:08 pm - Reply

    U are a very beautiful woman and I hope that u go far in life. Enjoy traveling the world and do what u love. Don’t let @#s holes like Gregor ever get u down

  3. Ciaran April 6, 2018 at 2:41 pm - Reply

    We need more of these beautiful Latina women in Ireland😍

    • Stephanie Be May 28, 2018 at 12:51 pm - Reply

      Hahaha! Ireland is BEAUTIFUL country and I encourage all Latina women and all people from every culture to experience it!

  4. John Rogers April 6, 2018 at 4:32 pm - Reply

    Well, I like your article! You sold me on Latinas!

  5. Howard April 10, 2018 at 4:59 am - Reply

    I believe your assessment of Latin women can be applied to women of all cultures. I am of West Indian lineage, and have found these attributes are present in women Who I have dated of many different cultures.

  6. Xero April 19, 2018 at 2:18 pm - Reply

    She pretty much hit the nail on the head as far as dating Latina women. I don’t know what that other guy is talking about but one thing you should know is almost all Latina women won’t put up with a cheater. They will always find someone better.

  7. Robert April 25, 2018 at 5:38 pm - Reply

    Great article Stephanie Be!!!!! Number 1 & 2 are important!

  8. Graciela April 26, 2018 at 8:35 am - Reply

    You forgot: If you want another date, you’re going to learn how to pronounce our names right or at least don’t pronounce them like a gringo. It was the last one for me. I always wondered why this much younger coworker used to pronounce my name “Grah-tsee-ELLLLLL-la”. I put up with it because at least he didn’t say “Grass-ee-elluh”

    We had to stop at my home to pick up something before we went to a conference and a dinner. While he was waiting for me, my mother offered him something to eat. I cringed, but instead, out of his mouth coame this lilting, charming reply with a zeta and some funny words. Mama understood and brought him a little bit and a cup of coffee. I looked at him and asked him why he never told me he could speak Spanish. He told me he couldn’t but he spoke Italian, so he could figure out Spanish. I figured out where the funny words came from, he was trying to make Spanish words out of Italian words. I understood why he pronounced my name like he did. I let him get away with pronouncing everyone;s names with an Italian accent. At least it’s not gringo. He’s now my boyfriend.

  9. Roy April 28, 2018 at 3:41 am - Reply

    Love this my you can say stereo type all you want but my loving wife fits all these bills. Kind loving and a short temper. Some grew up hard so she grew up tough . I love that she holds on to her heritage . there’s nothing wrong with a strong minded woman that )moves works cleans and loves again after all your faults

  10. A.Taylor May 5, 2018 at 5:13 am - Reply

    Thanks for your wisdom as I am an American male who seeks a beautiful Latina bride, and I really needed some great advice. God bless you much!

  11. Vida Michelle May 19, 2018 at 8:32 pm - Reply

    I found this to be 💯💯💯💯 spot on. Even with the things I am or I’m not… I know these stereotypes to be true. That’s from a 100% Latina.

  12. Lance Johnson May 24, 2018 at 7:11 am - Reply

    Good affirmation to what I pretty much already know. Been married to a Tica for almost a year. and dating for 3.

  13. Thurston May 28, 2018 at 10:41 am - Reply

    My wife and I read your article and found it to be spot on. I am Black and she is Latina. We laughed at everything being true especially when describing the inner personality of my lovely wife. I am so in love with her. Viva Latinas Forever!

  14. Jesse June 30, 2018 at 12:53 pm - Reply

    I’d consider marriage with a Latina if it weren’t for the Spanish language sounding so irritating? Latina women are so often beautiful and good, but their language makes me cringe like hearing fingernails scraping down along a school blackboard!

    • Stephanie Be August 4, 2018 at 11:40 am - Reply

      Hi Jesse,

      I’m sorry you feel that way about the Spanish language. I love it, but I’m biased because I speak it. Many languages can sound harsh, I think it depends on the person and what they’re saying though.

  15. Usmclife97 July 31, 2018 at 3:55 am - Reply

    I am dating a columbian from columbian and this all helps me make sense of things. I’m an American marine so I’m pretty sure I have what she is looking for, I have never met someone more loyal than her. They should put a number 11 down that her fiery love is just as dangerous as her fiery anger because she is pissed right now and she won’t reply, although I do have a question if she said that she wants to have my children and that I’m the one she wants to marry, does that mean I’m in??

    • Stephanie Be August 4, 2018 at 10:59 am - Reply

      Hi, thanks for reading! I can’t really speak on personal relationships. I’d give it some air, talk to her directly, and get some advice from someone who knows you both. Best of luck!

  16. Steve August 3, 2018 at 5:29 pm - Reply

    Thank you Stephanie for a very informative article. I wish I had met a Latina woman when I was younger. We need more Latina women in Australia. 🙂

    • Stephanie Be August 4, 2018 at 10:56 am - Reply

      Yes! I lived in Australia, and I was always the only Latina! It’s great to cross cultures and I wish you all the best.

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