“But if two people can be that happy when they aren’t meant to be together, think of how much more amazing and happier we’ll be with whoever the right person is.”
Yes, rejection healed my heart, instead of broke it.
1. Rejection proved I don’t have to look for love.
The idea of serendipity is that we meet people who serve a purpose in our lives (sometimes if even briefly) because we were supposed to meet them.
[clickToTweet tweet=”You don’t go looking for love when you believe in serendipity. ” quote=”You don’t go looking for love when you believe in serendipity.”]
In other words, I wasn’t actually looking for a relationship. If it wasn’t for a friend being called into work, I wouldn’t have taken time off and been available for someone to show me around. Actually, low-key… I am borderline anti- relationship because I appreciate my lifestyle and would have to give up parts of it to be with someone.
[clickToTweet tweet=”‘My friends are having babies & I’m like where should I go to next?’ ” quote=”I’m that girl people meme about ‘my friends are having babies and I’m just like what country should I go to next. “]
That’s actually my life.
This experience was a reminder that while some of my friends freak out about being single, it’s okay to live your life with the attitude that “when it happens it happens.” It will happen, even if you’re not looking for it.
I wasn’t looking then and it popped up, so I can continue not looking and presume it’ll pop up again.
2. Liking someone reminded me that liking someone is fun.
It can be so fun to be single and focusing on our careers and passion projects that people like me forget how much fun it can be to be in a relationship too. It sounds silly, but I needed someone who made me feel extra amazing to remind me how incredible it can be to put each other first.
3. Rejection gave me hope in millennial dating.
It’s nice to know there are still gentleman out there that respect my values. I hear so many awful stories of men (and women) who totally suck — it’s not unheard of me to write about toxic relationships and yellow flags. However, I know there are great relationships out there. I’ve been in them, I’ve been around them — but it’s just so nice to have it right there.
It’s kinda like one of those Ryan Gosling memes: “hey girl you’re going to pass that test.” Maybe Ryan Gosling himself isn’t going to help you pass the test, but what a nice message and reminder that you’re going to pass that test.
Are you with me? Every good egg is a reminder that there are more good eggs.
4. Rejection makes me appreciate what I’ve accomplished single.
Imagine if we had worked out and I had to move to a new city to avoid long-distance. My lifestyle would have drastically changed. It’s reassuring that when I am ready to commit to a partner, I’ll already have done a lot of the things I’ve always wanted to do. Because I don’t have anything or anyone holding me back right now, I’ve had the privilege of solo time to see the world and start my own business.
A lot of men and women travel frequently for work:
As writers, professional athletes, musicians, models, producers, bloggers, photographers, consultants etc. As long as you’re based out of the same city, it works. I don’t have the answer to everything, but I do know that travel isn’t the reason why I’m single. I’m choosing to travel and work extensively now because I’m single. Catch 22.
This lifestyle will change when I have a partner, and it’ll change again in a very long time when I have a family. But I don’t have a partner, and I don’t have kids, so I can keep traveling, working, and having fun.
5. It empowers me that I was willing to take a risk rather than play it safe all the time.
“Feeling intense emotions reminds us that we’re capable of deeply loving and being vulnerable.” – Dottie Schrock.
It’s so easy to always play it cool, and it takes a lot for anyone to put themselves out there. [clickToTweet tweet=”We may not have worked out, but I’ll never regret having tried. ” quote=”We may not have worked out, but I’ll never regret having tried.”]
6. I’m not wasting my time.
I’d much rather figure out early that someone isn’t going to work out than invest six months or four years in trying to force it. Love is a choice, and if you both aren’t willing to make that choice every day, we may as well opt out sooner than later.
7. Rejection isn’t personal, and when it is personal there won’t be any.
It’s not that he was a bad person or that I am a bad person. We are just two good people that will choose to be with two different good people (I hope he ends up with a remarkable girl).
This all happened in the past, and I’m finally publishing it. I don’t typically like to get this personal, but I hope that if you know someone dealing with either hear-break or a little love crack, they too will see that rejection doesn’t have to hurt for too long. It’s actually kind of a beautiful thing to have liked someone at all.
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Stephanie, I am touched by your willingness to share something so personal in a public and professional context. But, I see that you’ve made a business out of who you truly are. So it does follow that you would share yourself authentically in this way. There are also notes here that resonate with me in an intimate way, and I applaud you for taking joy in even what didn’t turn into a long-term romance. We are meant to learn from all of our relationships, and I see that you do. Most of all, thank you for your example of being grateful while in process. :)
Thank you so much for reading! I really appreciate the warm thoughts :) It isn’t always an choice, but it’s the path I’ve taken. I’m glad my experience could resonate with you.